Questions about sex positions are among the most common and popular sex questions posed to sex educators, search engines, and call-in sex advice programs. What is the newest sex position, the most common sex position, the best sex position? Is there a recommended oral sex position, anal sex position, sex positions for when you’re pregnant, living with chronic pain, or prone to dizziness?
The problem with these questions is that the answer is always the same: that depends. What is the best, most popular, most creative sex position depends on who you ask, and who they are. It depends on your physical body, on your psychological desires, it may even depend on your spiritual beliefs.
Sexual pleasure, and sex positioning, isn’t a science (even if there are scientific aspects to it, and scientific approaches to understanding it), and the only way you can find out more about sex positions, is to bring the creativity you have in other parts of your life, into the sexual arena, and start exploring.
Because many of us get stuck when it comes to sexual creativity, here is a breakdown of some of the key considerations when it comes to thinking about new sex positions.
Sex Position Tip #1: Physical Position
The most obvious part of any sex position is the physical position of your bodies. There are thousands of positions we can put our body into. Standing, kneeling, curled up in a fetal position, sitting with our legs spread open, with our legs crossed, squatting.
Sex Position Tip #2: What Movement, and Who is Moving
A good sex position isn’t just about how your bodies are arranged, it is a sex position that allows for the kind of movement you like in your sex. There are times you might relish a slow, even thrusting. Other times you might be in the mood for rougher, pounding sex. Many people lack important basic information about male and female sexual anatomy. The angle of penetration can change the way a sex position feels for everyone involved. It may stimulate one part of the body more, it might be more comfortable.
Sex Position Tip #4: Limbs, Which Ones, and What are they Doing?
When it comes to sex positions, we can focus too much on the genital connection, and ignore the fact that there is a whole body available for sexual stimulation. Arms, legs, hands, feet, can all be important players in an awesome sex position.
Sex Position Tip #5: Rhythm
All the clichés about the “motion of the ocean” are true. Regardless of what sex position you’re in, regardless of how perfectly sized your partner’s penis might be, if there’s no rhythm, or if you and your partner can’t get in synch, the penetration probably won’t do it for you.
Sex Position Tip #6: Speed
I have a friend who says she can always tell when a new sexual partner has learned his technique from watching too much porn. Those guys think that all sex is, is five minutes of mind-numbing (and genital numbing) pounding.
Of course these considerations aren’t really separate from each other. Take this example, You are penetrating your partner. They are lying down on their back, with their knees bent, genitals facing you. You are on your knees in front of them. If you lift up their legs and hook them over your shoulders, or if you just hold them in your arms, this changes both the angle of penetration, but it can also change the way you move.
From Cory Silverberg
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